Shot Story: Model Citizens

How a Morgan, a Cadillac, a vintage promotional truck, a Porsche, and scotch bring three unlikely folk together.

1. It was the weekend back in the 1930s. Saturday was to begin with Morgan Motor Company​'s exhaust pipe organs...

2. ...but this one sat silent and blue in the midday sun.

3. The owner took it remarkably well though, as I snapped for no particular reason. But maybe I should have kept it in check.

4. Because Al Capone somehow heard the shots and dropped by No. 4, Misty Mountain, in his '53 Cadillac​ Series 62.

5. I tried not to look at the sawed-off he kept waving around, and asked whether it was a nightmare to keep the sheepskin interior clean, given bloody gangster livin'...

6. "Shut up, shoot, or get shot."

7. "Now that's chromeyum!," I said aloud. But picturing someone putting a baseball cap on Capone inside.

8. I continued taking pictures, and his 1950s Flying Lady hood ornament was the next object of my lens' desire.

9. The baddie with the Caddy then proceeded to invite me to his estate for a get together, but warned, "You Can Call Me Shallow Al, because I can't handle more than two rounds."

10. "Al right. Can I get back to the car?"

11. "One more pic, then we drink."

12. "What if I say I don't during the day?"

13. "Johnnie Walker​'s taken the trouble to drive all this way, and not to worry, you'll get away scotch free after."

14. And so Al, Johnnie, and I drank, and it turned out J was taking the promotional truck to Germany the next morning for Oktoberfest. I asked if I could tag along, to which Walker, Scottish Driver, replied, "Hop in!"

15. We left America in the late 1930s, and only made it for Oktoberfest 2010, more than 75 years later. The scotch in the back had certainly aged better than us, but I was understandably well sick of the spirits. "Ein bier, bitte, mit einem strohhalm."

16. Cars look very different in 2010, and my tripod doubles up as a walker, but thankfully wheels still go round and round.

17. Wasn't she something - the 2010 Porsche​ GT3 RS, with that delicious orange peel...

18. Most cars were automatics now, but the RS still featured a manual box. Ol' Johnnie thought it was not a Walker in the car park to drive.

19. We had heard music evolve on the radio over all those years on the road, but agreed with Sir Mix-A-Lot's taste eventually. This Baby Got Back.

20. We must have been the oldest guys in the world to drive a Porsche for the first time...

21. ...but it didn't stop me from taking her up to 8,000 rpm.

22. But then somebody called 911, because this shawty was flame throwing with the gas on the floor.

23. Ant then?

24. No ant then. Just when.

Concept Car: Hot Rodster

My latest #conceptcar is a hot rodster, with classic #hotrod, #roadster, and British #sportscar influences. A big, powerful engine with at least 350 horses, 22-inch wheels, and an emphasis on lightness for performance, inspired by Colin Chapman's infamous philosophy. With the required resoures, I hope to one day be able to flesh an example out in sheet metal.

Author Illustration - @turtletorque

World Poll: Car Or Motorcycle, That Is The Question

Your vote is extremely valuable, so please take the couple of seconds required to contribute at this link: http://bit.ly/carormotorcycle

Two Wheels Or No Fun


OR

Four Wheels Or None

Vote here: http://bit.ly/carormotorcycle

Photoblog Special: Gas o' Lean Blues

Making the 450 kays between Bangalore and Kodaikanal with a half tank and a touch actually works out to only a tad more than a bus ticket. It's obviously not official, but I topped up my Maruti Suzuki - Way of Life Alto 800cc-engined car's 35-litre tank in Bangalore, and filled it again when I reached Kodi. I had managed to complete the run with 18.7 litres, which worked out to an average of 24.7 kpl, and included more than 50 km of hill driving. Not bad for a petrol car born in 2003, ay?

Been wanting to do this since Day One
Test the Alto on a mileage run.

The odo was reset at seven thirty Tuesday
35 litres at Madiwala and got on my way.

I was to be alone with the cyclone
And the Rain Man's dark overtones.

Ronald was trying to look sane in the brain
But a muffin remains dry when out of the rain.

Back on tarmac ground steady around seventy
With Let It Be sung for me by Paul McCartney.

Tamilnadu was a gorgeous state of green 
And my twelve-year-old was showing she still runs lean.

Our roads are mean to those too keen
There are always plenty reminders to be seen.

A quarter tank at 218 clicks
The old girl still got her bag of tricks.

Put a Pepsi and a dhum after Salem
Good conditions, traffic at a miniumum.

The ballet on the gas continued, almost Dindigul now
Her 800ccs had sung Alto so far, and how.

But Plains Jane economy is easier than the hills
I'm looking for automotive projects to pay the bills.

403.8, and the tank was at halfway state
That's pretty damn great, but the ghats were lying in wait.

One of my favourite spots for a quick shot
But the rum would wait till day was naught.

There it was, the amazing final meter reading
Showing us why she still has plenty meaning.

Old is my silver hatch, but she from a good batch
I hope you live long my friend, 'cause we're a great match.

Super Sedan Concept: A Tribute To Modern American Car Design

When I picture me rollin', it's not a Lex Coup, a Bimah, or a Benz. Nah homeboy, I'd be sippin on bourbon in the back of this ma one-off ride, a tribute to modern day American car design and all who live and love 'em 22s. Cuz I'm not a gangster, I just draw a lot.

Art-icle: Why So Many Love The A To Z Of This Car

The Nissan 370Z. A true sports car that keeps it real for the purists. It weighs under a ton-and-a-half, yet possesses 325 horses to make sure that lean mass gets around quicker than practically everything else. 4.7 seconds to the hundred from zero is very, very fast. It can do what you see because of its rear-drive layout, near perfect weight distribution of 53:47, and impressive power - the 370Z will truly treat the drifting lot. But the best bit for me is the 6-speed manual transmission which keeps you in charge of and connected to the drive, like no autobox pretender ever can. Dreams are made of Zs, and we must dream.

Photoblog: Bussing A Move From Bangalore To Kodaikanal And Back

With fuel prices ever on the rise, it's sadly often necessary to leave the car behind, and hop on a bus to head up to the mountains. You might think I go nowhere else, but hey, there's no place like home, right? Here's a documentation of a couple of trips on sleeper buses - from Namma Bengaluru to Yaen Kodaikanal.

1. The KPN Travels office in Shantinagar is a busy area, as it's situated right next to the government bus terminal. Much more interesting to pounce on space on the entrance step and plant your rear there as you wait for your transport to arrive, instead of that depressing and poorly ventilated waiting area in the office.

2. But these guys usually leave on time, and we were soon on Hosur Road, making our way towards er, Hosur.

3. It's actually quite amazing how quick these newer buses move, and they sure ain't Swedish. Quite amazing too how quick the drivers engage with any defiant road user in their path with a generous blast of eardrum-retiring air horn music. Tamil Nadu State cousins are no match. But Nan-AC sleeper buses are the way to go, because the kunjus AC bus operators often instruct drivers to turn off the air con in the night, and non-flower-esque odours and claustrophobhia will be upon you rather urgently...

4. Window pan.

5. Always keep an eye out for idiots going the wrong way on the highway - how they have the guts to put their, and more importantly, our,lives on the line will always be hard to understand (and bloody change too).

6. Dinner break usually happens around 10 pm near Krishnagiri, but I always try and carry a whole dose of Fanoos Jumbos for sustenance whenever I head home.

7. Going up around the bend.

8. Someone approaching from behind for the overtake down the main straight.

9. Not sure where this is exactly, though we were approaching Salem, and I was hoping for a nicotene fix...

10. ...but cigarettes take a toll on you, so don't ever start smoking.

11. One begins climbing up the Palani Ghat road around 6 in the morning, so it's a real treat to wake up to. The KSRTC buses don't use this route - they come up the other ghat road after turning off the National Highway at Dindigul. 

12. And after almost two hours of climbing the hills, one finally hits the spot. Ma normally waits here at the lake junction for me, such is my brat life.

13. Time always flies when you're having a good time, I don't know where a whole month went. Actually I do, but let's not get into the details... Aisle be bach, Kodi. This is how a sleeper bus is usually set up inside - a 2+1 berth combination. Never make the mistake of booking a double berth if you're travelling alone, or someone else's arms, legs, and distinguishable smells will cosy up when the lights go out.

14. The best single berth in the bus was mine this time, second from the front and on the lower level. There's plenty of space even for the longer-legged - a far cry from our days of regular-seat buses where getting jammed behind some impolite moron-who-reclines-his-seat-and-jams-your-knees-for-the-whole-night was always part of the itinerary.

15. Fruit stalls the SRS Nan-AC sleeper bus - it's a good service, but be wary of service cancellations when the bus isn't booked to the company's satisfaction.

16. This is the commanding view bus drivers have, no wonder blinding headlights are never a problem for them, they're so high up above the rest.

17. The driver was easily at ninety clicks on this section of the narrow highway after descending the ghats, and leading to Palani town.

18. Free advertising. I know, right?

19. The Audicity of it all, but it's all good to add one ring when you're the King. I put one Kings, obviously.

20. Dinner at Dharapuram is usually around 10 again - pure traveller class Tamil Nadu vegetarian items are your only bet, so don't expect Kadai Chicken and Butter Naans on this journey.

21. Driver cabins have come a long, long way over the last decade or so, but the rear-conditioned driver's seat seems to have skipped evolution. That shifter, however, is better shaped than several car gear knobs in the market.

22. The driver couldn't wait to get On The Road Agaiyin - here's a standard overtake despite the oncoming vehicle. Might is right with bright headlight.

23. And another passing manoeuvre, this time around a corner. But this was nowhere near as worrying as the previous one...

24. Almost Salem now, and about time to grab a couple of hours shut-eye before the bus pulled up at Silk Board Junction, at a realistic time of around 4 in the morning.

25. The usual final extension into your sleep deprivation occurs if you can't get through to Ola and have to endure the auto rickshaw driver's staggering rip-off for the journey home - it often costs a third of your entire bus ticket to get under your roof! Ah well, grateful to have this here mine, at the time of penning the piece. This wasn't 4 am, he he, but you get the picture...