Motorhead - One Day I Will Race

It takes an average of three years for the average person to complete the average undergraduate degree. However Piston does not believe in the law of averages. Therefore the degree of my qualification is definitely of an under graduate nature. The reason for this is that I have always had two left feet, one intent on putting itself in my mouth and the other intent on stepping on the gas. The foot-in-the-mouth disease came courtesy two years of a three-year e-business and marketing degree. A second education attempt has been two years of journalism and mass communication studies. Until now, this mixed toe jam was my diet of choice. But one foot has always been on the gas.

People have always joked about me not getting my degree before I corner forty. But cars have always been my calling. We all know our calling, but still insist on trying and making other things our mission, be it Internet or marketing busyness. A carb person I will always be. Not just a carburetting person, but a car breathing person as well. Because a person starting off from standstill in second gear, sleeping on the clutch, not choosing the ‘right’ indicator, all make my blood boil. However, since this happens most of the time in someone else’s car, the boiling blood is forced to get air-cooled while I sit back and try in vain to enjoy the drive. Okay, maybe I know how to drive a car very fast. It’s a start.

But I like seeing the chequered flag. That is the only kind of finish I like. Oh, amongst minimal panel gaps and Finnish rally drivers too. Seeing that flag means it’s a job well done. Hundreds of gear changes at first, three thousand gear changes at best, is the only job I can and want to become the best at. Exhilaration is what I feel controlling a quick front-wheel driver, and a start with the hot hatches or sedans will surprise several. I’d sincerely study Newton’s forces and live the exhilaration of the higher torque downshifting from fourth to third for a fast right hander. The only mass communication I want to study now is the communication between the car mass and yours truly. Jarno Trulli. I think I truly got to know him at Monte Carlo in 2004.

F1, F3, F8h… the last one reads faith. I don’t care what the drive is at the moment. As long as it’s a car. Whether it’s only one circuit or circuits the world around. I have always known about cars but now want to put that knowledge to the test. If you don’t let me drive, I’m afraid I’ll drive you crazy, trying in vain to better lap records trackside in my humble Alto, whatever the odds. Yes indeed, waiting for that zimbly impassible day.